I'd like to be your surgeon:

I'm on call at MCG, and have some time for my inaugural post. My bike chain broke the other day on a ride and I bought a new one. I'd thought I'd done it right, but it was making a "catching" sound when pedaled. I took it to a local bike shop and he found the problem pretty quick. Can you? I bet you can. My superior motor skills and hand coordination make me uniquely qualified to be your surgeon. Never mind the fact that I can't put a chain on the rungs of a bike, and just simply looped it around the guard rail. We fixed it pretty quick. I won't be back there. I'm laying low for now from cycling.